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My yr old step-son is failing school. We just got a letter stating he will not graduate at this rate. He promised his father that his 'plan' was to get a summer job - that he did not want to go Teen has no motivation summer school again this year.

Every day he sleeps until around 10am. Lazily Teen has no motivation up, takes a shower, gets on the computer, talks on the phone, and then leaves the house. He is not even looking for a job, just hanging out with his friends. He thinks this is all a big vacation. He is not MY son, I know. But he lives in my house and his father has pretty much let him do whatever he wants. I have tried over and over and over again telling my husband how this makes me feel, but is it something I really want to wreck Teen has no motivation marriage over?

We've only been married a little over two years. The son will be out of the house in a couple of years, right? My husband is totally frustrated, but doesn't set boundaries or enforce consequences when the teen challenges him.

It's all totally frustrating. I am trying, really hard, to be sensitive to my husbands feelings and find outlets for my energy outside of this home situation. Idea: I suggested giving the son a deadline: come up with a job or you can go to and Outward Bound excursion camp.

The son is refusing. You can't make me This whole time I am not saying much, just trying to support my husband. What I am looking for here are either a. I am not really this judgemental, but just trying to be succinct. You're describing a normal-enough situation for teens — school doesn't seem relevant to quite a few kids at this age truthfully, for many kids who are not academically oriented, it's NOT especially relevant, Lisa ann sexy secretary a trade school would be a better option.

Sleeping late, staying Teen has no motivation late, hanging out with friends who "understand" them, challenging authority.

All of it is "normal. But this doesn't mean it's optimal, by a long shot. And it would be hard to take. If I were doing the cooking, laundry, or other motherly tasks for an unappreciative step-son, I'd be inclined to offer him a deal. Either he starts considering my reasonable needs, or I stop cooking and cleaning for him. What it would mean to do his Teen has no motivation could evolve as needed, and wouldn't necessarily have to include Dad's cooperation.

Ideas could include behaving respectfully, following basic household rules, sharing chores, getting a job, saving toward his future independence, volunteering some of his time in the community… there are lots of good, healthy options.

I'd want him to take responsibilty for helping to choose what he agrees Teen has no motivation do. And I would NOT hold my breath expecting that he "must" change. He has reason to believe he can get away with "whatever. Meanwhile, get yourself a good book on co-dependence. This boy can hardly be faulted for having bad habits, since it sounds Teen has no motivation though his role-modeling has been lax, to say the least.

As sad as it may be for a sensitive soul who wants to be responsive to the needs of husband and family, your SS may simply need natural consequences to help him realize that other people have legitimate needs. Much more Teen has no motivation and less whiney. Look up other links to Non-Violent Communication for some powerful techniques for getting to the heart of other situations, as well.

It's all about recognizing, respecting, and responding to the legitimate needs of all involved. Good luck, Kerry. Teen years can be challenging enough with your own kids. My second husband, and my daughter, had to endure a great deal of pain when we married.

My daughter was entering adolescence, and there were many adjustments to be made all around. But it eventually worked well for us all, and my daughter grew into a mature, happy, responsible mother and loving step-daughter. If ever there was a time for family counseling, I think this is it. He could Natalia cruz nude galleries depressed, not just lazy.

Sometimes kids anybody for that matter can get kind of paralyzed and not know the way out And not want to get flack from a step parent. I'm sure you care about him, but you don't looove him like your own child--you probably see him as you would see any other teenager.

Still, you and your husband can't just let him behave this way and I think an experienced family counselor could help you find some strategies that would work for everyone. I always have a soft spot for the kids in a divorce, because my parents divorced when I was I was the most level-headed kid you can imagine, so even I was surprised when I slipped into a depression, began failing classes, sleeping all the time, having thoughts of hurting myself.

I picked fights with my Teen has no motivation all the time to make her pay attention to Teen has no motivation. He shouldn't be left to figure it out for himself with ultimatums, etche should be given some help to come through adolescence and divorce and remarriage a better person. My marriage ended in part because my husband didn't want to make rules, state expectaions, or in any way influence the way his son behaved. His parent swere overly strict and he went the opposite way and became overly permissive.

He would sabotage everything I did evem when I was doing what we had agreed that I should do. I hope that isn't the case with your husband. If he's mostly just lacking in skills and wants to learn a way to influence his son Teen has no motivation responsibility there is hope. Peg wrote excellent recommendations. I would add to her resources the book and web site of Love and Logic.

I found that when I was parenting my daughter and then my grandchildren that I had some difficulty because I felt guilty and lacking in power. I also learned that it's not too late to begin learning a different way of thinking about myself and an effective way to be consistent. Love and Logic helped me alot. This is the rule and this is the consequence for not following this rule.

Tough love idea. At the same time I was able to be more loving and yell less because I had let go of the idea that I was responsible for his behavior.

Learning and applying this took me several years. I am better at consistency with my grandchildren than I was with my daughter. I suggest that the parenting skill that you learn now will help you with your children now. The earlier we start with discipline the more effective we are with our children.

You didn't say how old your children are. Is your step-son's attitude and behavior negatively affecting your children?

Could the Teen has no motivation of that happening help to motivate your husband to learn new parenting skills? I also strongly recommend family counseling. You are a family in a stressful situation. Each one of you needs a way to express your feelings and finding ways to deal with them in a positive way. I found that I couldn't do anything as far as discipline with my step-son which made me angry almost all of the time.

I tried to find a way to let go of my sense of responsibility for him. Teen has no motivation Suspenders stockings and heels up leaving because I never found a way that allowed me to have a sense of well-being. What I did try to do is similar to what Peg has suggested in regards to meals and laundry.

His father then did his laundry for him and he didn't care if I fixed a meal or not. He would just raid the pantry for himself. What helped me the most was for me to leave the house before I became upset. I frequently, towards the end, fixed dinner for our 2 mothers who lived with Teen has no motivation and went to a restaurant for my own dinner.

Boston Market was my favorite. With other children you may not be able to do that. I also became a thrift Black girls xxx porn nude shopper and an around the blocks walker. Around the blocks until I felt calm again. I became a Crisis Intervention volunteer which gave me a sense of success because I was doing what I not only wanted to do but could do well.

I also declared the second family room as my room so it was always quiet and neat. Anyone could ask to join me with the condition that we were to have a quiet time together.

For example, we could watch TV or read together but we could not argue. Fortunately we had a large enough house so Teen has no motivation gave Teen has no motivation a peacful haven. I did have to send my step-son and his friends out of the room fairly often at first. My response to "you can't make me" is to stand firmly with both feet spread to give me balance and a confident air and wait. I am surprised how often "standing my ground" worked. I also suggest taking away privileges.

If he drives your car take away the keys.


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