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Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Television has found a happy medium in breast cleavage--that innocent eye candy for emasculated husbands and prepubescent boys alike. However, cleavage is such an effective marketing tool that it also turns up in the most unexpected--and disturbing--places. Suspicious deaths are serious business. That's why the state employs a specially trained medical examiner to determine the cause of every death.

To properly study the victims, you must spend most of your day leaning over them, for hours at a time, in front of other people.

What better job to wear Italian woman with big boobs skimpy tank top! Really, who would you rather have investigating your loved one's death? A sober and analytical clinician, or Dr. Alexx Woods, the sassy and emotionally labile medical examiner with a porn-star name and grade-A rack?

Sure, she has this disturbing habit of talking to dead bodies like they're still alive and she gives all her co-workers a heaping helping of homespun sass that several years of graduate training should have extinguished, but don't let that shake your faith in her professionalism.

Xxx first time anal pic anything, you should be concerned about her baffling knack for cleavage flashing Italian woman with big boobs to cadavers. We suppose that her impressive chest-chasm might be construed as an artsy metaphor for the gulf that separates life and death. We like that metaphor because it insinuates that death is simply another boob, and we hope it's really like that.

But, at the end of the day we'd rather not develop any unfortunate unconscious associations between corpses and big ol' titties. After all, funeral tumescence is the most inappropriate kind. There are no official standards for becoming a television chef, but you've got to have personality, and you have to be able to cut an onion really fast on live TV without looking like a moron. Italian woman with big boobs importantly, though, a TV chef has to make menial tasks entertaining.

Giada is blessed with certain characteristics that might be described as obstacles Italian woman with big boobs achieving optimal TV-chef charm. Her mouth, for instance, is Tony Robins-esque and she's got a gigantic head. In Italian woman with big boobs to overcome these liabilities, she seems to have resorted to one of the more time-tested of feminine wiles: showing off the goods.

If it's done tastefully, this is a Italian woman with big boobs respectable strategy for increasing ones marketability. Giada, though, has taken it to the rarely vaunted 'wanton medieval barmaid' level. That seems to send a bad message, since all of us know what it's like to get splattered with grease while frying an egg shirtless or, you know, naked. And really, while enjoying what should be an innocuous family program, we shouldn't be provoked into involuntarily imagining anything splattered on the host's chest, even if it's just hot grease from a frying pan.

As Dean of Medicine, you have a tremendous burden. You must earn and maintain the respect of patients and egomaniacal doctors alike while asserting an air of leadership the moment you walk in the room. Significantly less important to the job is asserting that you have huge boobs. For an eminently successful and intelligent medical professional, Dr. Lisa Cuddy has certainly amassed a number of self-sabotaging behaviors.

We suspect Italian woman with big boobs that stems from her frustration at having earned everything that she has received rather than sleeping her way to the top. This type of frustration can manifest itself in many ways, a soft-spot for inveterate misogynists for Italian woman with big boobs. None of these side-effects are more unfortunate than her desperate insistence on flaunting her well-supported sweater kittens at every opportunity.

Working in her office, making her rounds, evaluating a patient: it doesn't seem to matter who she is distracting, or how much she risks undermining her authority. Her cleavage is probably responsible for more off-screen deaths in the House universe than cancer. You can't go to school to be a ghost whisperer: it's in the genes. The kid from The Sixth Sense and Melinda the "ghost whisperer" both have the gift of seeing freaky dead people and being able to talk to them.

Melinda, though, seems to have doubled up in the "gift" department. Unlike the kid from the Sixth SenseMelinda does not spend her time being scared shitless, huddled under a mountain of blankets and dressed in conventional sleeping attire.

Neither does she go with the Shaggy technique of cowering inside a suit of armor with a talking dog and self-medicating with a huge bag of weed.

No, that would hinder Melinda's Latifa mfx brazil lesbian as a ghost whisperer and would deprive the world of her spectacular rack. Does it seem all that strange that Melinda is constantly encountering spirits of the hostile variety?

After all, she seems intent on reminding them that they have passed from the world of flesh and that there are no boobies in the afterlife. Among other amusing activities, CSI's often get to crawl around a dead chick's apartment on all fours looking for blood, semen or blood and semen.

That last one is known as the CSI spritzer, which is the correct technical term for a drink we just made up whose ingredients include Bailey's, milk and grenadine. Yes, the CSI franchise makes its second appearance on our list. Seriously, what the hell? Why in the CSI universe, where every day is spent pouring over the grim details of some schlub's death, would you wake up every day and squeeze into a low-cut, come-hither top? Yes, we know that in the show Catherine Willows used to be a stripper.

But you don't see lawyers wearing hairnets just because they once worked a few shifts at McDonald's, do you? A staple of many '80s sitcoms, the live-in maid is a jack of many trades, including cooking and cleaning. None of these trades, however, is more important than serving as the role-model and moral center for the children on the show. The job requires integrity, common sense and a willingness to impart bits of wisdom that Italian woman with big boobs be ignored at first with humorous consequences.

Garrett's rack Italian woman with big boobs two sitcoms from toDiff'rent Strokes and the Facts of Life.

In fact, Mrs. Garrett's cleavage is so legendary that it got referenced in a Family Guy episode. There was an air of desperation about Mrs. Garrett, still trying Hot black pussy gallery turn heads by showing off the Italian woman with big boobs even in her golden years. Yet, every male teenager in the Facts of Life audience knew the strange feeling they got when Mrs.

G and her low-cut blouse entered the room. Facts of life, indeed. Remember earlier Italian woman with big boobs we said funerals were the most inappropriate time to get an erection?

We think we just discovered one worse than that. Or head to the brand new Official Cracked. And be sure to get the Cracked Hit List delivered in your electronic mailbox every Thursday. And be even surer to find out who made the cut this Week in Douchebaggery.

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Add to Favorites. Continue Reading Below. Job Description A staple of many '80s sitcoms, the live-in maid is a jack of many trades, including cooking and cleaning. Recommended For Your Pleasure. To turn on reply notifications, click here. But have you ever wondered why? Aren't they?


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